Tuesday, November 6, 2012

The little bird is back

I am going to post an old post in honor of my son moving back home.

On Sunday, I got a call from my son asking if he could move back home. Of course he can. What am I going to do?  His rent was too high.
He needs help in the direction his life is going and this is the best place for him anyway. He does not have a steady job and I am hoping to guide him into being a little more mature and responsible (wish me luck on this).

I am hoping to sit down with him and have a long conversation. It has been so busy at my house that I have yet to have even more than a 5 minute conversation with him so far. He is not a talker like my girls are. The girls will tell me things I don't even want to know. I have to really dig with him. By dig I mean separate what is fact from what is fiction with what he is telling me.

I do not want to say he is my problem child because he does not get into trouble. He is a genuinely nice and compassionate young man, he just gives me the most trouble. He needs to settle down. I will do anything in my power to get him on the straight and narrow. He is not a teenager anymore. He is 20 years old. It is time.

I  hope that I do not stroke out in the process.
I  hope that he does not find a new apartment before my job is done.

So without further adieu, here is one of the first posts that I ever wrote. I wrote it as a guest post on my daughters blog. Maybe it will give you some insight on what I have dealt with over the years.

I think the myth that boys are easier than girls is wrong
I have three children. They are all two years apart and Louie is the youngest.
When Louie was born the girls babied him. I am not going to lie so did I. As an infant Louie was a pretty good baby. It wasn't until he was probably about 7 or 8 months that the crying stage of his life began. The girls started calling him waaa waaa Louie. I will tell a few short stories so you get the idea of my theory.
Louie was in diapers forever.
We went on a family trip to Disney when the kids were 2, 4 and 6. I used to take the girls every year by myself from the time they were infants. This would be the first time with my husband and brother in law as well. We stayed at the Grand Floridian and had an exclusive package. Food anytime we wanted. Wine and cookies and milk in the afternoon. Presents for the kids at turn down service every night. For the enjoyment of the men there were model shoots in the afternoon and Miss USA pageant contestants were there as well. Should have been a dream vacation right? WRONG. Louie cried on the plane, Louie cried off the plane. Louie cried at breakfast, lunch and dinner. Louie cried while visiting the characters. Louie cried in his carriage. Louie cried out of his carriage. Louie cried while eating cotton candy. Louie cried on rides. Louie cried when walking. I think Louie even cried in his sleep. My brother in law ended up leaving in the middle of vacation because he couldn't take it anymore. I really wanted to go with him. I have never been back to Disney since. I am so traumatized. I hope I can get over it so that I can take my favorite Grand baby soon.
Now we can cut to Christmas a year later when they are 3, 5 and 7. The girls were begging for American girl dolls. Well Krista was and Gina wanted to do everything her sister did at the time. So "Santa" was bringing Krista, Samantha and Gina, Kirsten. I am not even sure these two dolls are available anymore. They were so excited.
Christmas Eve we go to my Aunts house. It is tradition. Picture about 100 people stuffed into one house. It is always a lot of fun. There is also a Santa parade that goes through all of the neighborhoods with fire trucks, police and all kinds of floats. Always the highlight of the night. Louie as usual was not cooperative. Yes the whole crying thing. It was a rough night.
Christmas morning comes around and its 7:00. The girls are up Louie is not. They play with their stockings. 8:00 comes around and Louie is still sleeping and I ask the girls if they want me to wake up Louie and they say no. I am kind of shocked after all it is Christmas morning and here are these little girls waiting patiently to open presents. 9:00 comes around, still no Louie. I ask again. they say NO don't wake him up. 10:00 and 11:00 still no Louie and NO they do not want me to wake him up. Louie finally got up at 11:30 and I think the crying didn't start until during the present opening. Do you get the picture now? 5 and 7 and dying for their new dolls but it didn't matter they just wanted peace.
Potty training. I am cringing while I write this but it needs to be told. I had both the girls potty trained at exactly 2 years old. Louie was another story entirely......
The girls were at school and I was home with just Louie. I worked on potty training ever day. He is now 3.
I was having my dining room worked on and Louie was fascinated with construction. He loved the trucks. He loved to watch the guys working. Everyday he would stand and watch them. I still had to work on potty training so I put him in the bathroom with his potty seat. It is sort of across from the dining room so I left the door open for him to see.
Next thing I knew He picked up his potty seat and set it down right in front of the dining room and sat down on it. I could see the guys smiling it was pretty comical.
Louie sat and sat on that potty seat but would not go. One of the guys finally looked at him and said "Whats the matter there buddy do you have stage fright"?
Cut to Louie now being 4. Still not potty trained. I try to sign him up for preschool and they tell me unless he is potty trained they wont take him. I am frantic because I am the one that has spent the most time with waaa waaa Louie and I need a break. Just thinking of those two and a half hours a day without the waaa waaa is looking like heaven to me. I am on him like crazy to learn. I cant take it anymore. He is 4 and I am just baffled as to why this kid doesn't get it. I pretty much chase him down and he hides from me. One day while searching for him I find him in the corner of my dining room next to the server changing his own diaper. That is when I snapped. I cant even tell you what happened that day because I think I  blocked it out.
After that incident I refused to buy diapers. If a kid can change their own diaper but not go on the potty. That is a problem.
One last story then I am done. Louie is now 5 and in kindergarten. It is not full time Kindergarten it is half days and Louie is in the afternoon session. It is just Louie and I home during the day. I am a clean freak so I am always running around doing things. I THOUGHT Louie could be trusted if I left the room. It is time to put Louie on the bus and no Louie. I am frantic. I look everywhere for him. He is nowhere to be found. I look inside, outside, down the street. No Louie. My phone rings and its the woman wayyyyyy down the street. Louie is at her house. I go grab him and put him on the bus. This becomes his daily ritual. He escapes at the right opportunity. You would think at 5 I wouldn't need to put him on a leash. I have a regular Houdini on my hands. He is the reason I had to put a deadbolt up high on my door where he couldn't reach. It is still there to this day and not because I live in the ghetto.
Louie at the neighbors after running off.
For the record, on occasion, the girls still call him waaa waaa Louie.
So as you can see, being a parent is not always easy. A parent's job is never done. Just when you think life is getting easier, they pull you back in.  The key is to never give up. Maternal instincts are amazing. You always want what is best for them. I want all of my children to be productive members of society. I will do whatever it takes. That's what being a parent is all about. I am not from the school of  "When you are 18 you are on your own". I am a meddler and I will be a meddler until I take my last breath. Not in an annoying way, but in a caring way. If I had it my way, my kids would live with me for the rest of their lives.
I know it is going to be a rough road ahead for me but I signed up for this. I will manage and persevere, even if that means I will be going out to get the economy sized bottle of xanax.
Get out there and vote!


  1. I have one back for a few months too, but that's ok. They need to have a place to go when they need it :-)

  2. A parents work is NEVER done...NEVER!!! Even when they cause you no grief...still nerve wracking to be a good parent. I wish you the best.

  3. Love this, thanks for sharing. Our oldest is 22 and still at home... and finally finding his way :)

  4. Love this! I can feel the love and concern flowing through your words :-) Speaking from my own experiences, give it time. He'll be okay, I promise :-)

  5. i think boys are easy as teenagers, but that is it
    they are holy terrors as toddlers and goofballs in junior high
    they have so much pressure as young adults to find their career path and all that it implies
    as the mom of just turned 19 and turning 21 this week boys, i am right with you

  6. Im 20 and i am definitely in no rush to move out of my parents house. Why would i waste money on rent when i can live for free and not worry about anything but maybe that is cause i love money and wasting it on rent when i don't have to would be waste.
    As for guiding him onto the right path you can try but really it depends on the person's personality. Like him i am quiet too barely ever talk and I've never given my mom trouble it just wasn't appealing to be a trouble maker mostly because I'm ambitious and i somewhat care about what others think and how to make a good impression but i wasn't told to be this way i just watched and learned from my mom :) she's great!

  7. Ok girl this has to be on your top 10 best posts EVER!!!! You said it perfectly you sign up for this the second you decide to have children and from the looks of it your doing one hell of a great job! Josh is turning 18 in a few months and he knows he can stay with us as long as he wants as long as he respects our home and our family! You are going to do just fine I promise! I'm now only a call or text away if you ever need to vent sister!!

  8. Thank you SO much for sharing all of this with us! Honestly I was not ready to move out when I was 20 (well I was in the dorms at my college) but after I lived at home for a bit to save and prepare myself for the "real world."

    I love that you were incredibly forthright about the challenges mothers face, I had no idea they were so extensive (am I am sure they are even more so) but you are an AMAZING mother. I have complete faith in you and I am sure Louie is so grateful to be returning to a place of comfort.

  9. what cute pictures!!!
    and i did vote :D
    new follower btw :)

  10. Thanks for sharing and opening your heart! It sounds like you're an amazing mom and God never gives us more than we can handle. I'm confident that Louie will get on his feet especially with your fabulous love and support. :) Found you via Aloha Friday!!
    Nikki at www.bedazzlesafterdark.com