Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Bitchiness is not flattering on anybody

Why is it that I feel like I know some people who I email back and forth with from the blog world? I have never met anybody in person but isn't it kind of funny that you can send maybe one or two emails and "click" with someone? I know just about everybody that blogs can relate.

I will admit over the years I have grown cynical. If you knew me maybe 15 years ago I was the most trusting person. Now....not so much. Many things have happened over the years that have made me the cynical person that I am.

I moved into a pretty nice neighborhood. I was in my late twenties. Some of the women in my neighborhood did not give me a chance at all. I am just going to come out and say it. They were absolute bitches. I was so naive back then. If I could go back in time, I would slap myself for "killing with kindness" people who did not deserve any of my attention or efforts.

We moved to this neighborhood when my oldest daughter was starting kindergarten. We still lived in our old house when school started. I would drive her to our new neighborhood to take the bus until our house was done being built. I would try to talk to these women at the bus stop and pretty much got the cold shoulder and was snubbed on many occasion. Mind you...these women did not know me at all. I was just being my friendly and chipper self.  Only when I offered to do them a favor did I get a favorable response from these women.

 In my profile I put Barbie living in her Barbie dream house for a reason. These women would say "Oh there is Barbie living in her Barbie dream house".  I cant help that  I went to the kids bus stop in high heels and lip gloss....that's just me. Just because these women had the same sweat suit on when they dropped their kids off in the morning and still had them on when they picked them up in the afternoon ....its not my fault. I have always been the way I am. Even if I was sick, I still got all dolled up. That was just me. Its just like the women in their sweat suits. That was just them. I would not judge them. They sure judged me. That totally sounded like I just judged them but trust me.....they were bitches. I could care less if they wore a sweat suit or a ball gown.

Its kind of funny that I always had all of the neighborhood kids here too. If they thought so poorly of me then why did they let their kids play here? Maybe they knew I wasn't a bad person and I made them feel inadequate? Maybe they were just lazy and didn't want to deal with their kids? If I had something to say about someone my kids sure wouldn't be playing at their house. A hypocrite I am not.

If I see a woman who makes an effort, I am in awe of them. I would never make someone feel uncomfortable for what they are. I would praise them. I will always compliment someone who makes an effort even to this day. I know how hard it is.  I personally do not judge a book by its cover. I try to live by the motto " do something nice for someone every day".  Even after dealing with the meanness that I did, I persevered.  I still stuck to my motto, even though I didn't want to. I still did me and didn't let these mean bitches get to me. (OK maybe they did a little because I am a little nastier than I used to be). I really do hate that they took my innocence away. I am still a girls girl to this day no matter how I was affected by my situation.

I was a little reluctant to write this post because I don't want to sound bitter or a vain. I am over it believe me. It all happened so long ago. It did affect me though and it shaped me into who I am today.
I am not whining about all of my neighbors because I found a very dear friend among them.
I guess what I want to say is, just because someone isn't like you, it doesn't mean you shouldn't give them a chance. You might be amazed at what you find. Give people a chance
In the blog world you aren't judged on sight. I feel a little more trusting each day. The only agenda most people have in the blog world is to grow their following.

For each and every one of you who I email with back and forth, you have no idea what it means to me. For those of you that I don't, I still appreciate you. I promise if you engage with me, I will respond. I have found some incredible people in this blog world.

Of course my husband wouldn't read my blog unless i mentioned him (ha ha). He is wayyy more cynical than I am. He has a reason to be, he has seen me duped many times.  I was almost embarrassed to admit to him that I participated in the Christmas in July Swap but I had to. I think he was pleasantly surprised.  I cant help but talk about the people who are like friends to me. He is getting to know all of you as well. I talk about some of you like I see you on a regular basis.

How many people can say they are in their mid forties and still have had the same best friend since they were 8 years old? I can.
I know quality when I see it. I like to think I have pretty good intuition. For those of you who are my friends in the blog world...you are quality.
That means each and every one of you.


  1. This is a great post. I don't like it when people judge others based on their looks. Why not treat everyone with respect. :) p.s. I've had the same BF since I was in 1st grade and I'm in my mid 30's now. Have a great week!

  2. Wow - I can relate to this post on so many levels. I try to live my life giving compliments rather than criticisms. I am always the first to say hello with a smile. But no matter how hard I try, I realize there are people that just will find something to not like about me. Instead of letting them bring me down - I move on.

    I enjoy being a part of your blog-friend world. Your writing is very honest, humerous and a joy to read! This post is just another reason why you and your blog rocks.

  3. It's sad that the world can take an innocent girl and turn her into a cynic. I too have started to become more cynical lately and I hate it. It's not me. But at the same time it's hard to fight it sometimes. I just try to remember to do unto others and not let their actions make me someone I can't rest easy with at night. Boy isn't that true about real friendship, it's few and far between!

  4. Hi, I'm Shar!
    Your newest follower from the blog hop!

    Love this post Laura! Very relatable!

    xoxo ♥ -Shar

  5. I'm pretty sure if you had moved into my neighborhood I would've immediately friended you!! You're fabulous! I would've loved to have a friend who likes to get dressed up and take care of herself.

    To me, it just sounds like these women were jealous of you. They found something in themselves lacking, and really they are the ones who missed out.

    It's hard not to walk away from that situation cynical though, but looks like you came out okay through it all!

  6. It is hard not to become cynical when the mean girls of the world do their thing :-) At this stage in my life, I know who my real friends are. Great post!

  7. I feel the same way! Let me share a recent exchange with my boyfriend:
    Me: oh my friend was talking about...
    Boyfriend: Your friend, or a blogger?
    Me: Why does it matter? I consider some of my blogger friends better friends than some of my "friend".
    Boyfriend: you spend too much time on the internet.

    He may be right about my social media addiction, but I wouldn't give up my blogger friends for the world!

  8. How many women can say they are in their mid 50's and still have the same best friend since they both were 6 years old?? Laura, you know how I feel about you! You are a dear and kind hearted friend that I've never met :-) Who was the first person I sent pictures of the dress for my son's wedding? YOU! If we lived near each other it would be a deadly combination LOL! Mr. B knows you as "my friend Laura" and sometimes will ask how you are doing :-)I can't even imagine someone being mean to you but I also know there are nasty bitches out there too!

  9. Great post Laura!

    The women snubbed you because you were way foxier than them! :)

    Thanks for welcoming me with open arms when I first hit the blogosphere. Meant the world to me!

  10. I am so happy I found you! I just started in this blog world last November and I too feel like I have many new friends...all of which I have never met in person! I am also in my mid-forties so it's nice to meet someone my age. I find a lot of new bloggers are in their twenties and I'm not sure they relate to all I have to say! I love your style and non-judgemental attitude. Great to meet you~I'm a happy new follower! Please stop over for a visit~Angie

  11. I love this post - incredibly heartfelt with something everyone can take away. I'm so glad I found your blog :)

  12. I love this post!! Everything you just said is so true - that's one reason that I absolutely love the blog world - the people in it are so friendly and inviting, and just don't judge. I have a few good friends who I've "met" through blogging, and I feel like I've known them my whole life. LOL the husband and I have even had "skype double dates" with one of my blog friends and her husband. I could leave blogging today and know that these girls would still be my friends, and that's a good feeling!
    Have a great day, Laura!

  13. I can totally relate. It's usually people that are jealous or see something different (good or bad) that try to get you down. You are so right in saying that this has molded you into the person you are today. We're all thankful for that too.

  14. They were jealous, plain and simple! They could not be bothered to put in the effort of dressing up and so, they didn't want anyone else to. They did not like you because you showed them that despite having kids and 'so much to do', you could still take care of yourself..that it could be done!
    I'm sorry they got you down, but maybe it is better to be aware that however hard you try, there are people who enjoy being mean!
    I'm so glad you have really good friends whom you can rely on!

  15. hey mom you are still the coolest out of all those blowswer moms, how many of the neighborhood kids do you think had their mom go out with them on their 21st bday? none of them but both of your daughters did. sure says something about you!
    and is it sad that i can still remember them in their sweatsuits? i specifically remember a dusty rose one... ahhh memories.
    and at least now you see why i love blogging