My life, or as my daughter wanted me to title this post, now that I am an old sea hag (part 1)

I have been in a funk for a little over a year now. Not a depressed kind of funk. Not a mid life crisis kind of funk. I have not gone out and bought that two seater sports car YET.  I am also not looking to be a cougar (I am only one in my mind). This is the kind of funk that you do not know what to do with yourself so you do nothing. The kind of funk you sit on the couch and watch reality shows where the girls call a bidet a duvet. Hey, they don't know any better. Bad Girls Club anyone?  What has my life become?

Nobody touches my weave!!!!

When my kids were little, I dreamt of this day. No doctors, dentists, dance class, school projects, cheering, basketball, softball, football and the list goes on and on. All of my children were done with grade school as of last year. I used to be so busy my head would spin. Cleaning, cooking and errands. The house now stays clean because there is hardly anyone home. The cooking, I still do but not on such a grand scale. Most nights its just my husband and myself. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed every single second of everything I did for my kids. I just always looked forward to some freedom. Don't we all?  On one hand, I would give anything to go back to those days, on the other, I want to see what life has in store for me. I am finding it hard not to be needed as much. I had my kids when I was young so that I would still be young enough to enjoy myself when they were grown.
I'm waiting.

I now have different responsibilities. I have had only one child at home for years and that will be changing soon. My daughter graduates in the spring and will be back home. What is my son going to do with his life? Will my daughter find a job when she graduates? With children, there are always worries. They never go away no matter how old your child is. You always want the best for them. You know what they say, little kids little problems, big kids big problems. I need a glass of wine just thinking about it.

Go pour yourself a glass

I am still tied to the home with a lot of freedom, but not really. I cant travel with my husband when he goes away on business. Someone needs to be here to supervise. I am in limbo waiting for my kids to get settled.

You go from having so much to do that you don't know if you will get it all done, to searching for things to do to keep you busy. I know I have been very fortunate all of these years to be home. My husband never wanted me to work. We are both old fashioned. I take care of the kids and the home. He takes care of the outdoor things and brings home the paycheck. It works for us. Sure, I could go get a  full time job if I really wanted to. I don't. I like my one day a week job. I like the freedom of coming and going when I please. I also like the freedom of being able to visit my daughter every few months. It is hard enough that she lives out of state with my favorite grand baby. If I had a full time job I am sure I would not be able to do that.

Me and my favorite grand baby

It seems like I blinked my eyes and here I am. I never listened when people would tell me how fast time goes.


I just simply cannot get motivated to do anything. I have never been like this in my life. I have always been active.