Kids say and do the darnedest things

I have a few funny short stories about my girls. I still smile to this day when I think of these stories.

My oldest daughter over at http://armywife-style.com
was quite the loud rambunctious child. She was always singing a song or running around the house. She had this big blow up crayon that she won at a fair. She used to run in circles with that crayon and sing "Carry a dumbo, carry a dumbo". Whatever that meant. Maybe she meant a jumbo? Lord only knows. I know she wasn't talking about her brother and sister because they weren't born yet. She also liked to sing a song she made up and just keep repeating the same thing over and over, "dinga donga keeko". She made up a new verse called "dinga donga dicka" and would alternate with that verse sometimes. She is the vulgarity queen so maybe it had some meaning? I still don't know to this day.

My oldest also used to like to dive bomb into the middle of our bed every night. Her room was directly across from ours. She would get a running start from the furthest wall in her room and just charge full steam ahead and just fling herself into the middle of our bed. I was always the mean one and would send her back to her room. Sometimes she would go, sometimes she wouldn't. I was mostly too tired to care. We bought a gate to put in her doorway. She learned to climb over it. She didn't have as much running room so she would toss herself into the bed. It was one habit I couldn't break her of. Good thing I was a light sleeper back then. When we lived in that house she shared a room with her sister who was in a crib. When her sister started to stand and would want out of the crib she would cry. If I sent my husband in to see what was wrong, the oldest would say "knock her down daddy, knock her down".

My middle daughter, we will call her the non-reader. She would never read a book unless it was forced on her. I think to this day, the only book she has ever actually read for pleasure was Harry Potter. I am not even sure she finished it. She was so unlike my oldest who always had her nose in a book. We were watching TV a few years back and a commercial came on for some type of medicine. It was listing out what the medicine may do to you in scrolling print across the TV. She looked at me and asked me what fatiguayed meant. She pronounced it just like that, fat-i-guayed. I said "you mean fatigued?" This was two years ago. Did I mention she is a now a senior in college? She always makes the deans list? It baffles my mind. Her limited vocabulary is a problem. I encourage you all to FORCE your children to read. It really makes a difference.

When my husband comes home from work he is always so chipper. When the kids were little he would come in and start talking to them. The non-reader was probably two or three years old at the time. She would listen to him him speak and then turn to my oldest and say "What did him said?" She would not directly ask him anything. Like he was speaking a foreign language. It was pretty comical. She did that for awhile.

"What did him said?" He must have said smile and she didn't understand.

My girls had one of those motorized barbie jeeps. Do you have any idea how many times the battery would run out when I would be way down the street? Do you know how heavy those are to lug?
My oldest was usually the driver. She would put the pedal all the way down and aim right for the curb. Her sister would usually be in the passenger seat. It is a wonder that their heads are still attached. She would hit that curb pretty hard and scream while she was aiming for it. I would be yelling "turn the wheel". She has never been that great of a driver. When I went to visit her in Washington, she would give me a heart attack every time we were on the highway. She would drive so close to those big logging trucks that I swear i could stick my tongue out the window and lick the bark off of the logs.

Where is the nearest curb?

I was on the Fourth of July Committee in my town for years. It is the biggest event our town does all year. Everyone in town usually makes an appearance.  It used to take place right in the center of town (not anymore). It was a three day event that featured rides, food and different little events. It was a fun time. They did karaoke in the afternoon. My girls wanted to do karaoke, so I had my husband bring them down in the afternoon. I worked in the booth all day and figured they were old enough and I was close enough that they could handle it.

It happened to be a really busy afternoon so I was stuck in the booth. The non-reader wanted to do a song so i told the vulgarity queen to take her up to the stage and help her pick one. After awhile of listening to bad songs, I happen to look up and there is the non-reader up on stage. Oh how cute! I cant wait to see how she does. I hear the first few notes of the music (I am like the rain man of music, I can hear a few notes and know exactly what song it is no matter what era or genre it comes from. It is a gift). I hear the music starting.....oh no....sweet baby Jesus.....My 7 year old is going to be singing "Like a virgin". Seeing that she is the non-reader, here is how it went down. Instead of it being "Like a virgin" she was singing it "Like a virggggginnn" and pronouncing the g like a short g and really drawing it out. I cant quite recall but I think dancing was involved too. I was mortified and laughing my head off all at once. I wonder if the people in town found it as amusing. That could have quite possibly been the longest three minutes of my life.  I should have known better than to let the vulgarity queen and the non-reader pick a song. Another lesson learned.

"How did I do mom?" (I can't believe i found an actual picture of this event but I am glad I have it)

Kids say and do the darnedest things don't they?