Friday, January 20, 2012

You can pick your friends but you can't pick your neighbors

We built our house in 1993. It was a new neighborhood. There were a lot of kids. It was a young neighborhood. There were a lot of kids that were close in age to my kids.

We had a party for everything. There were block parties once a year. Almost every house had a Christmas party, including myself. There were summer time barbecues, country and western parties (weird for our area) and Birthday parties. The whole neighborhood was invited to most of these events. We socialized a lot. As the years passed and the kids got older, the parties ceased. We all broke off into different groups. There were only about two other women that I had something in common with (we wore lipstick and heels). To this day, one of these two women is one of my dearest friends. The other one moved away and got divorced. Some of my neighbors down the road I have not seen in over five years. I probably wouldn't recognize them if I saw them. We are from a really small town but that is just how our town is. I find it very odd.

My next door neighbors are oddballs. When we first moved in, we were very friendly with them. We would all go out together. They were much older than me. Their kids were probably the oldest in the neighborhood.
I found out that every year they went to a nudist colony on vacation. It would be fine I guess if it was just them but they took their kids. Really? No kid needs to see that. You know the stereotype of nudist colony participants? People that shouldn't be taking their clothes off in public.
The husband was a very small skinny man with the biggest Adam's apple I have ever seen. I always got a weird vibe from him. I would watch my girls walking to the bus stop and if he was leaving for work he would drive along beside them and talk to them. Something you would see in a Lifetime movie. I warned them to NEVER get in the car with him. He used to offer all of the time. He was socially awkward and the kind of man with a perma grin. I didn't trust him.
In the summer months he would walk around his yard in a speedo. They had a landscaping service but he would water his shrubs. He would turn so that his back would be facing the street and take his speedo and pull it up into the crack of his bum .Who needs to see your old man ass cheeks hanging out? Save it for your nudist colony friends. I haven't spoken to these people in years and rarely see them. Its a quiet street. Did I mention this man is a Dentist? How would you like to be put under and have him in charge? I shudder at the thought. They are nut bags.

The neighbor that lived diagonal to me had three girls. They have since moved. They were constantly at my house. They would ring my doorbell ten times a day. I don't know if it was because they liked us or their mother was trying to get rid of them. I didn't mind at first, but after awhile it got annoying. Holidays, school vacation, it didn't matter.
It was Memorial Day weekend. My husband and my brother in law and I were just sitting out in chairs on the driveway because the sun moves in that direction. We were trying to enjoy some nice weather. I want to say it was the Sunday of that weekend. The girls from next door had been at my houses since Friday. They may as well have moved in. My brother in law had a box of Cheeze-its in his hand and was eating them. One of the little girls just came over and stuck her hand in the box while my brother in law had it in his hands. That's how comfortable they were at my house.
The movie The Lion King had just come out and they were very excited to see it. They told me all about it when they were ringing my bell at 8:30 am that morning. Yes it was a Sunday. They would run back and forth from my house to their own and they must have been pestering their father. We actually instigated it a little because we needed a break from them so we sent them to their house to keep asking their parents when they were going to the movies. They came back to my house and said "My dad said if we ask him one more time when we were going to see The Lion King he wont take us".  It was about 4:00 and I had had my fill of entertaining the neighbors children so that she could do god knows what. My husband and brother in law had had their fill as well. I don't remember who said it but they told the oldest girl  "Go ask your dad what time you are going to see The Lion King". They ran off and came back crying "My Dad said we aren't going now because we asked him too many times".  I am not one to dash a kids dreams but It had been a day of fighting and pestering.
 I was always a softy and my punishments very rarely stuck. I would have ended up taking my kids anyway. I know that's bad but that's just me. They really didn't go to the movies that day. I would have felt to bad enforcing that kind of punishment. It was a little harsh. It also made me realize that the parents did send them to my house. They didn't want to be bothered with them.
I am definitely ready for a new house. My house is too big with too much maintenance. I would have moved years ago but the kids don't want us to move from their "home".  Right now for me, I am thinking the smaller the better (as long as my favorite baby has her own room). I have better things to do than to clean all day. Another thing keeping me from moving is getting stuck with more weird neighbors. At least I can ignore the ones that I have now and not feel bad about it. I did my time already.

1 comment:

  1. things i did not need to know about them... the nudist colongy vacations. remember when she used to stand on her balcony in like no clothes?
    or how about the time i left for a run at the same time as him and he followed me the whole time. creeeeeeep.
    you didnt mention snowballs girlfriend though. im disappointed.